The Bakery Chronicles

People, I can't make this stuff up.

Actual conversation with customer:

Me: Can I help you?
Him: Do you have any sugar free cakes?
Me: Hmmm, no it looks like we're out, but we do have some no sugar added pies.
Him: Do you have vegan cakes?
Me: [probably too incredulously] Vegan and sugar free?
Him: No, just vegan.
Me: Sure, here in this case. Today we have German chocolate, vanilla, and a chocolate torte. The German chocolate is the best.
Him: What about your cheesecakes? Do they have egg in them?
Me: [working on expressionless] I'm pretty sure they do- let me double check the ingredient list....yes, they have eggs. [no eye rolls, no eye rolls, no eye rolls]
Him: ok. I'll have the German chocolate vegan cake then.

People. People. My advice today is this: if you are trying to fit a dessert into a diet, just let the poor worker bee helping you know at the beginning of the conversation. It'll go much better for everyone, I promise.